Monday

Places I've Never Visited, and That's Just Fine - Part One

A California Nude Beach


Unbeknownst to me, there are around 100 nude beaches in America. At least 26 of these are in California. As far as I can tell, it is illegal to flaunt the birthday suit when catching some rays at a public beach in the Golden State, however, not all California counties agree on what would be considered "in the buff." 

Los Angeles County, by far the most specific, considers "the genitals, vulva, pubis, pubic symphysis, pubic hair, buttocks, natal cleft, perineum, anus, anal region or pubic hair region of any person, or any portion of the breast at or below the upper edge of the areola thereof of any female person" to be a pubic, I mean, public nuisance. Marin County leaves a little less to the imagination by prohibiting "pubic hair, genitals, buttocks or any portion of the female breast below the top of the areola." Most of the other counties are somewhere in between. San Diego County's Law just says "No person over the age of ten years shall be nude and exposed to public view."  I was not able to find any restrictions for Humboldt County, specifically College Cove Beach.

Sunny College Cove Beach offers surfing, volleyball, jogging, sunbathing and swimming, all which can be enjoyed without the annoyance of apparel. Of course, the average temperature of the water is cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. According to the "truenudists" website, no, it's not saved as a favorite, about one-fourth of the beach is sand and the rest driftwood. The location is popular with young singles and even more popular with gawkers. Duh. 

So, if building sand castles while bare or boogie boarding au natural floats your boat, saunter on down to College Cove Beach and get your nudist on. As for me, this is one of the many places I intend to be just fine never visiting. 


8 comments:

Schmendel November 13, 2008 at 10:08 PM  

And what the guide books never tell you is that like 97% of nudists are over 65. I do not even plan see myself naked at that age, so I'll pass. I'll be at the beach where turtlenecks are sported.

Eudea-Mamia November 14, 2008 at 12:29 PM  

Driftwood? Ouch!

No thanks. I'll take my prudish Redneck Riviera any day of the week, thank you very much.

Em

Heather November 14, 2008 at 1:26 PM  

I couldn't imagine how many loopholes there would be for those rules...

I guess I'll just be staying out of California and in the midwest where the women wear long sleeves in the hottest of the summers..no sense in showing off the jelly rolls....

Jill December 16, 2008 at 8:17 PM  

I'll never forget what I saw on the beach while vacationing in Mexico. The women who chose to go topless certainly shouldn't have. The speedos had a way of finding themselves on the most overweight of fellows.
After that experience, I don't think I'll ever be interested in visiting a nudist beach. Ever. :)

Krista December 16, 2008 at 8:32 PM  

Hmm ... does that mean that if a single pubic hair is sticking out of a bathing suit, you're NUDE in public?! So women who don't remove hair from (ahem) that region must wear boy shorts?

3 Bay B Chicks December 17, 2008 at 3:55 AM  

Who knew that California could possibly be so detailed and specific when it comes to defining nudity? Now if only we could get our act together in other areas of public policy.

Bottom line: Nude beaches in America...not so good. Nude beaches in Europe...not so bad. :)

-Francesca

~hon~ December 18, 2008 at 8:08 AM  

Oh I like the info on this one and I very much agree! Not worth visiting. Our partners are enough for us, anyway. I like how you said gawkers. That was funny.

Krista September 20, 2009 at 8:06 AM  

Weird ... LA County is very specific. I don't even know what the "natal cleft" is (don't enlighten me, it's okay). I get the idea of the point of the law! Don't show off private areas that ought to be covered when outdoors. :)

I do know what the "pubic symphysis": from anatomy class, I know it's a cartiledge that's inside your body in between the hip bones. Not exactly possible for people to show off. And if you do see someone's pubic symphysis, they are very injured, so don't worry about modesty or embarassment: you need to call 9-1-1!

P.S. I like the above Krista's comment about boy shorts!

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