Places I've Never Visited and That's Just Fine - Part Two

The Outback of Australia

I know what you're thinking. This has been done a million times. Yep, and now it's a million and one. What can I say? I need the practice. Anyway, where was I? Ahh yes, the Australian Outback, home to such tourist attractions as the most dangerous snake in the world, the hottest place on the earth, and man-eating crocodiles. If that does not get you pumped for some fun in the Aussie sun, how about the Sydney Funnel Web Spider, capable of killing a person within 15 minutes of a bite.

Let's start with the infamous Inland Taipan. This snake is considered the most poisonous in the world. A fang full of its killer juice could do in 100 people, no problem. Lets put that into perspective, shall we? I'm from Arizona, a place that is no stranger to venomous snakes, however, the bane of the Inland Taipan is 50 times more toxic than that of most rattlesnakes. Ouch! Okay, no worries mate, we'll just watch where we step. 

Who doesn't like a day in the sun? Warm temps, no rain. Sounds great. In 2003, according to MODIS, the hottest place on the earth was in Queensland, Australia with a temperature of 157 degrees! Are you kidding me? 157 degrees! That, my friend, is ridiculous unless, of course, you fancy trying to fry an egg on your forehead. No thanks!

No big deal, right, we'll just take a quick dip in the creek and cool down. Yeah, you might want to reconsider before stripping down to your skivvies and taking the plunge. Lurking just below the surface, thinking that you look very much like a big juicy strip from The Outback Steakhouse, may be a man-eating crocodile.  Australian saltwater crocodiles kill 1.5 people a year. I guess the other .5 is that guy who only lost his lower half. Australian crocodiles are the largest reptile on the earth. The males can get as big as 21 feet long and weigh a ton. So it would be like being eaten by a Hummer. With teeth. Big, sharp teeth. 

So, if your first name is "Johnny" and your last name ends in "ously" or your idea of a close shave involves one of those knives they sell on the Shopping Network, you know, the ones with the compass in the end, then the Australian Outback is just the place for you. As for me, this is one of the many places I have never visited, and that's just fine.